I think it's incubment on an instructor to give any student a reality check if they discover that training is jeopardizing their family life or financial well-being. That's pretty much the definition of addiction. If someone ignored the advice and abandonded their family to practice Aikido, they would not be welcome in my dojo until the situation was rectified. If you wish to dedicate your life to the art, that's wonderful - but not at someone else's expense.
I completely agree with everything you said in this post. I think I tried to say something similar myself in previous posts but it didn't come out so clearly.
I'll continue reading this discussion but this is my last post on this topic because all the time I have spent reading it should have been spent on the mat so I can call myself committed to aikido