Post #62 should get some kind of recognition (i.e. post of the year, or even post of the decade!).
I agree with everything Dan Austin wrote, and thank him for taking the time to do so.
I had my own disillusionment with the effectiveness of Aikido many years ago, after sparring with a BJJ blue belt (who was really just an old high school wrestler with a rear naked choke). It helped me recognize Aikido for what it is, rather than what I had wanted it to be. I wrote extensively about that process of realization
here, for those interested.
Ultimately, words will not give you the truth, only direct experience will. I remember a discussion on this very board about how kaiten nage was a perfectly viable option against a double leg, rather than a simple sprawl. The Aikido option is always preferred, regardless of how improbable it may be to execute. It's almost like a religious belief, and many of us left that church years ago for the atheistic approach of repeatable, scientifically verified martial effectiveness (and with it, repeatable, scientifically verifiable losses against more skilled opponents).
To the original poster: It seems that people are trying to fill in the chasms on the road to effectiveness through structural realignment, internal exercises, etc. I'm not sure what to think about this, but I'm trying to keep an open mind. What would really help is the slightest amount of visual proof for the claims offered. So I would not venture down that path as a vehicle of saving your Aikido. Here is my alternative:
Video tape a match with your MMA friend and let us see how it unfolds (a good college wrestler will also do if an MMA fighter is unavailable). Do it. Test it. Film, examine, and analyze. This is the path of true progress.
Then let us then look at it objectively and offer advice. If you're serious about opening a school, you need the confidence that only comes through direct experience, with full resistance. That way, you won't be intimidated when the 320 pound powerlifter wants to test you out. You're aware, but not intimidated. You've got it mapped out. You know what techniques will work on this guy because you'd wrestled a thousand bodies at full resistance, and know that big guys are almost helpless once you take their back. You also know they have tight shoulders and are suckers for bent armlocks. You know that if necessary, you will expend up to 50% of your energy to not be sidemounted by the behemoth, and avoid that position at all costs. These are the lessons experience gives you. And these lessons are often taught by losing.
I will say that BJJ has increased my Aikido effectiveness a thousand fold. Against a resisting opponent, I now realize how fleeting those pockets of aiki actually are. BJJ taught me a process of eliminating space with my opponent that is undeniably effective. It taught me how to push, how to pull, and how to set up your opponent to push and pull as you'd like. It taught me how to flow with resistance, and keep calm during duress, even as you're being smashed.
Above all, I realized that softness is an illusion. Soft is not soft, soft is just hard enough.
In my opinion, the only way to save Aikido as a martially viable art form is to not do Aikido. I do not limit Aikido to the severely pared down syllabus derived from Daito Ryu Aiki Jujutsu. I feel that the BJJ I practice and teach is also Aikido. Minoru Mochizuki did not limit his expression of Aikido to Morihei Ueshiba's tai jutsu techniques, so why should you?
Every generation must rediscover effectiveness for themselves. Your recent experience is a huge step for your own development. Don't stop now. Continue on the path and discover your own truth. It will be infinitely more meaningful than the truth that had been handed to you previously.
Best,
Roy Dean