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Old 12-06-2005, 12:00 AM   #3
Location: Cortland, NY
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 989
Re: How Do I Beat People Up Using Aikido

Kevin Temple wrote:
I am taking aikido and it is tons of fun, but I have this friend I was hoping I'd be able to beat up. He thinks he's so good at martial arts and I want to wipe the smug grin off his face. He has a 5th degree black belt in karate, a 3rd degree black belt in judo, is the reigning champion of the local illegal cage fighting circuit and also founded a style of kung-fu. Any tips and techniques would be appreciated. I was thinking maybe get him really drunk and catch him off guard with a high-five transfering quickly into nikajo, but I am open to other suggestions.
It's very simple. You must use O Sensei's most poweful, devastating, technique, the Forgotten Technique. It was truly awe inspiring. Ukemi for this usually involved parachutes, retro rockets, very thick pillows a HUUUUUUGE catcher's mit. The technique sent shockwaves through the space/time continuum, so that any martial artist who even thought of challenging the Forgotten Technique would crap in his pants two days before doing it and call it. Your smug friend would be a pile of goo in two seconds if you used the Forgotten technqiue. His great-grand children's third-cousins-twice-removed-classroom's-dentist's-appartment-super's-brother-in-law's-accountant's-mechanic's-girlfriend's-annoying little borther would get a concussion.

I'd tell you what the Forgotten technique was .....

But I forgot it. So you're doomed.

Nice knowin' ya.

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