I second Mr Clark's sentiments.
One reason for the late Doshu's insistence that he himself had no uchi-deshi was to emphasize the original relationship between the Founder and his live-in students at the kobukan. They were participants in a creative process.
My earlier post was written in response to your request for comments and your later explanation added much about your own reasons for wanting to be a special student.
I think the basic issue is that aikido becomes the centre of your life and not a very important point on the periphery. This entails enormous faith in your teacher.
Good luck.
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