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Old 11-23-2008, 02:20 AM   #86
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 950
Re: Another harassment question

Ron Ragusa wrote: View Post
Buck, it seems that you are suggesting that:

A. The female students who are being subjected to this unwanted attention should, since (as you have noted repeatedly) times have changed, either suck up and live with it or leave, and

B. Other students such as Tom28 should stay out of it and let the sensei work out his "personality defect problem" for himself.

More directly Ron, to answer:

A. If offended or feeling harassed leave. Don't stay there thinking it will go away or the sensei will change.

B. When I said "personality defect problem," it meant he will not change overnight if at all. Think of it as he has the problem he has to deal with.

Not all women think or respond alike. Can't stereotype women or pigeon hole them in how they will react to such a sensei. It is a case by case thing, each women is different and will handle it differently. You got to give the women credit for being an individual and dealing with the situation as an individual on her own terms.

Tom28, sees what he feels is a problem, it is a problem for him. It makes him uncomfortable and he worries. He knows what he has to do and the choices he has to make.

The most frequent and most given in shear responses as advice given here in this forum and other spots is when situation like this one where there is a conflict or relationship issues in the dojo that are not easily resolved the advice is to "leave the dojo" more often then not. I am in lock-step with that advice as being the best advice, thus the solution to this women's problem.