I found this quote in a political article, but it struck me as applicable to the ongoing self-defense debates, too.
Tough guys you know right away because they're never scared of a fight. Wise guys you only know in retrospect, when you remember that they quietly walked away from the fight that now has the tough guy in a hospital.
Everyone talks about how aikido needs to be a "real" martial art, with credible self-defense capabilities. I actually tend to agree with that. But it's also a "do," a Way, aimed at developing better human beings.
Very few of us will ever actually need to use our martial training to protect ourselves or our loved ones. But I suspect we could all do with a little bit more wisdom.