|
I have a bad feeling about something, but I'm not sure yet what it is. I think that a lot of the problems in our daily lives, and in the way that we react to others (even on a sociological or national-political level) are clearly caused by feverishly overgrown egos. Now, just having said that I think alot of people will be offended, and I think that says alot about who we are. In American society, one is taught from day one that we are all individuals with our own set of wants/needs and goals and... you get the picture. At the same time we are all told that there are these other people all around us, and that we have to learn to get along with them. When I was yound I had a bit of a problem trying to understand this seeming paradox, only a little maturity and mental exercise brought me the answers to a lot of my questions. It seems that not too many other people see this duality as a problem, because they're not talking about it. No-one told me that you have to balance your goals with your loved ones, and that you can have your own desires so long as they're what other people want you to desire. There are a lot of egos out there who don't (or weren't socialized to) understand that they are truly not the center of the world. Your eyes are a window to the world around you, and the room does not cease to exist when you leave it. There are countless other egos at work to influence your life and those of others, and they don't always have the same goals. I think that this is at the root of why people have a problem with loving protection. I think that we are oftentimes so wrapped up in where we're going that when another path crosses ours it's either a barrier or a tool to exploit. I know that this makes it sound like the whole world is filled with jerks, but I think that our society teaches us "instrumentality", not the "blending" that we find in things like Aikido and some belief systems, like Shinto. We are all products of our environment, and we can choose to an extent how much we let that be conscious and how much we try to cast off. I guess it's just a hard pill to swallow, and don't think that I don't have a problem with it, too. For me, Aikido is a way to try to train myself to be more sympathetic to others, and to open my mind. I think that we all need to examine why we're involved with something as different and special as Aikido. Look at one of the few portraits of O-Sensei where he looks at the camera, look at his eyes and tell me that this is not a man filled with "something" that you just can't figure out yet. There's something going on in Aikido, and I can't yet see where it's headed. You are yourself, but you're also a piece of the puzzle of humanity, and you must decide where you'll fit in. Are you one of those kids who would try to jam a puzzle piece into a spot where it just barely didn't fit? I'm no conformist, but I do think that 9 out of 10 conflicts are caused by an overinflated ego on one or both ends. What can we do but work on that for ourselves. How selfless do you have to be to not only walk away from a pointless fight, but then explain to all your friends that you take a martial art that could have easily "defeated" the other person, and that it wasn't just out of fear but a genuine belief that conflict SHOULD be avoided. I don't know, it's hard to not show off sometimes, but I think it's important to maintain that humility. I think I'm really rambling here, what do you all think about this?
|