This is in response to the 'Anger on the mat' thread.

There is an older man at my dojo, a former judoka who has taken up aikido because he damaged his body too much to continue with judo. He's a perpetual white belt and seems content with that, training because he enjoys it. He's so stiff that it's amazing he can walk, but unfortunately he can also be quite arrogant. Some of his enjoyment comes from feeling superior, as a former judoka, to the aikido students at the dojo.

The problem comes when he has no idea what the hell we're doing. If he dosen't understand the technique, he just makes something up; sometimes this is so ineffective that it's almost laughable, but sometimes he gets a joint just right and it becomes quite dangerous. Often he yells while he is doing this. He does it more often on some days than others.

Once, a couple of years ago, he was doing this while I was training with him and getting worse and worse every time he was nage (sometimes this can indicate that one's technique has been too hard, but iirc I wasn't being hard on him). I got more and more angry each time; I felt like he was being totally disrespectful of my body, my time, my training, etc. Finally he got me into one of the effective locks - I had to take some of the best ukemi I've ever done in my life to get out of it intact, but when the dangerous part was past I whipped around and was as close to punching someone other than my brother that I've ever been in my life. He was totally vulnerable (as he ususally is, though he dosen't seem to notice) and I could have done some serious damage. He finally saw that, and I think he saw how close to snapping I was. We spent the rest of the day training very politely together.

Now: I was upset then, and remain unhappy, that I lost control to such a degree. Philosophically I should have stopped him earlier and said, 'Calm down, dude!'
But it worked. The guy not only has treated me with more respect, he hasn't messed around as much with other dojo members either - he's less dangerous. Sometimes he still breaks out a little, but not nearly to the same degree. I'm not sure that speaking to him would have gained the same respect.