Interesting. Lately I have been thinking of the kote as, actually, the forearm. I guess I have been seeing kotegaeshi as an elbow manipulation this whole time. When people go for the wrist itself it is like, it may hurt, but it never really seems to get use's balance unless you are moving the elbow around too.
I would agree. We've spent a lot of class time over the last few months trying to expunge the most common bad kotegaeshi variations, and a lot of them seem to derive from overemphasis on the wrist.