Thread: Crisis of Faith
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Old 08-28-2015, 11:37 AM   #13
G Sinclair
 
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Dojo: Bushikan Aikido
Location: New England
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 28
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Re: Crisis of Faith

Quote:
Julia Campbell wrote: View Post
I've been training a few years and am coming up on my first kyu test, though a date hasn't been scheduled yet. Though my teachers say I'm doing fine, I'm starting to feel more and more like there's nothing in my aikido, like I don't have anything to bring to the table. Like, I could never achieve making something work outside of a dojo environment with a cooperative uke, that my successes are just due to the charity of my partners not stopping me, that the skills I've worked on building aren't skills at all, just illusions coming from the fact that my partner intends things to work rather than intending things not to work. Of course, it's self-reinforcing: the more I doubt, the less things work, and the more I conclude I should be doubting.

I've heard that a lot of people go through a similar crisis at some point in their training. If you've had an experience like that, please share. What was it like? Was there anything that helped get you out of it? Or make it work for you? Do you have any advice you can give?

Thanks!
I had those same concerns. And they haunted me.

For me, I could not just accept the philosophical answers "you will always feel that way" or "just keep training, you will get it". I came from a vicious striking art which embedded into me a painful sense of what would work for me and what would get me killed.

Here was the thing about Aikido: I found myself thinking a lot "I can almost see how this could work... But not how we are doing it"

For me, a change of Aikido style put this question to rest.

Good luck on your test!

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