Exhaustion is one way to produce relaxation. But, it can run the risk of not being safe for yourself or your training partner.
IMHO, learn to relax. Breath in and tense. Exhale and let go. As you let go, say the word "relax". After a while, the word gets associated as a trigger to the physical state of relaxation. Then go to the mat, look at your training partner, breath in and as you breath out say the word "relax".
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