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Old 04-27-2004, 09:27 PM   #27
GaiaM
Dojo: Bend Aiki Martial Arts
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 92
United_States
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Re: Emotions on the mat

Hi Heather and All,

I want to continue the discussion about the benefits of a challenge. I can't figure out how to quote things so I'll just assume you know what I'm referring to...

Like you, Heather, I am someone who has always been able to achieve things like high grades and praise with very little effort. Many things I do I pick up quickly and my personality helps people to trust my ability and commitment. Aikido is different. While I know my Aikido is getting stronger all the time, this improvement only comes though dedication to training and LOTS of hard work. No matter how much I want to be good at this art, no matter how many friends I make and how friendly and responsible I am, my physical ability will not magically appear overnight.

Realizing this has helped shape my whole outlook towards myself and my life and to love aikido even more. I don't know if part of your fear comes from not knowing how to "do" aikido and/or not "getting it", so I'm not sure how relevent this is for you. But regardless, perhaps it would be useful to remind yourself that the goal of aikido training should not be to master the art because it will never happen. I really believe that I will never get to the point where I am not confused, scared and frustrated at times.

So enjoy the path you're on, but don't take it TOO seriously - there will always be more to learn and the best you can do is to give 100% to your training and remember to smile :-)

Ok, that's my two cents worth. I think this is a great thread... Good enough to warrent my first post to this forum ;-)

As for me, I have never felt "fear" on the mat, but plenty of other emotions come floating my way. A lot of times they are positive ones: happiness, love for my fellow students and our sensei, and most of all appreciation for the opportunity to be a part of this aikido community. Sometimes my ego jumps in with feelings like "you could have done that better" or "why didn't Sensei comment on how well I was doing that ukemi?" But the intensity and joy of training usually banishes these feelings in a hurry. So don't forget to acknowledge the positive emotions too. And keep training!

In the spirit,
Gaia

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"Life is growth. If we stop growing, technically and spiritually, we are as good as dead."
--O Sensei
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