Re: Bending bones!
Honestly... just tell him he is hurting you and explain the potential injury you are concerned about. He probably has no idea and will be mortified to think he might have caused you real harm.
I have a very strong grip. Sensei often will use me to demonstrate how techniques work when someone strong is trying to prevent you from moving. lol he can't move me unless he gets the technique right when I get fully grounded.
Now I know that I have to adjust for different people and my tendency is more toward not grabbing hard enough out of concern I might hurt someone. That said one day I was working with someone new. (to me. She is Shodan I think) She being much smaller than me and older I was being very careful and not really grabbing her like I should. So she says to me, you need to grab harder and make a connection. At which point I tightened down on her to about half to three quarters strength...lol she kinda glared at me and said you don't have to leave bruises. Good thing I didn't go full strength...
Other people I practice with like me to be stronger and some need me to be lighter. I try to provide what each individual wants to work with. But I can't do that unless they give me some feedback.
Sometimes a strong person just needs a bit of help learning how to judge the power of his or her grip and adjust it according to the needs of their partner. This is something you can help him to learn.
And perhaps your sensei might show your fellow student why being strong can be a total disadvantage when attacking a well trained Aikidoka. I always apreciate getting those lessons myself.
I also fairly often work with guys who seem to think they have to try to lock me down and prevent me from moving. Fortunately I don't break too easy so while sometimes it does irritate me, more often I look at it as an opportunity to really explore and look for those holes. For me the big problem is always jut loosing tension and forgetting about that hand holding onto me. On the rare occasion someone actually does hurt me in a way that could be a problem I make sure to let them know to be more careful.
Last edited by Shadowfax : 12-11-2009 at 09:25 PM.