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Old 07-01-2013, 01:56 AM   #21
Join Date: Jun 2011
Posts: 243
Re: Rape Survivor and Aikido

Anonymous User wrote: View Post
I am a rape survivor. I was raped when I was 17, and I have had many years of learning what to do to prevent it again. I do not talk to men I don't know and I do not go on blind dates. I have also developed an extreme aversion to being touched in any context other than by someone I am in a relationship with.

I have been studying Aikido for 2 years now, and it was recently pointed out to me that most of my waza issues stem from giving too much of a "holiday" to my uke. Upon further self-reflection, I feel that these technical problems are rooted in my aversion to touching people and being touched in any kind of non-sexual context. (I also do not hug friends, and I genuinely do my best to avoid even a handshake as a greeting.)

I am not looking for therapy, but I would be interested in knowing if there are any women here who have overcome the same issues, or any instructors who have helped their students though these issues.
Aikido is a martial art and as such it can teach us how to be effective in a self defense situation. But self defense is not only techniques and Aikido goes further than that. Aikido is about finding one's limits, extending them, breaking any barriers to set a broader self and then you go to break your new limits. Of course waza and daily training are one's tools for getting there.
As my teacher often says, you have to find any amount of courage that you have to push your technique forward. Then you use your new, higher technique level to push yourself forward, you find more courage that you use in your technique and you go on and on...forever because that's how long it takes to learn aikido.
The way I see it you need no therapy or treatment of any kind. You alredy are in the right path, that of aikido. Keep playing and experimenting with your own limits in order to make yourself wider more open and extended and you will overcome your problem.
You see, in a martial context (aikido is a martial art after all) nobody would like to have a close touching contact with a dirty, filthy sick junkie that points his knife to him asking for money, but in aikido we learn how to be able to do that because it might save our lives.
The lesson is the same. It is from the fighting techniques that we learn the application in every aspect of life, so keep on practicing.
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