Quote:
Andrew Bedford wrote:
Does anybody, have any thoughts on the way I have been training the students in the dojo?
This I am very interested to hear.
Andy B
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Greetings Andy,
First of all let me start off by asking have you read the book '
The Power of Now' by Ekhart Tolle? I have and everything you state here is stated in that book.
To your question:
Perspective.
Each person has their own reasons, like you mentioned in the original post. You have to respect that and simply just 'be' yourself. When they ask specifically about things, you can present your 'way'. If they express a desire to know or learn more about your 'way' then you can show them the door and path... but they have to go through and follow it for themselves. You cannot change others, you can only change yourself.
Lead by example. Put yourself in 'situations' where you have to test (not compete) your convictions to your 'way' of being. Embrace the pain, the situations you avoid because they may allow your ego to emerge, gain a foot hold or if already present, be challenged and forced to deal with itself, its perception that it had of what the outcome should have been. Each time you are able to remain still, at peace with a situation that could/should/would (future/present/past) have caused you discomfort, fear, anxiety... then your 'way' is better for it. To a further extent... deriving pleasure and satisfaction can sometimes be feeding the ego as well so one has to be careful.
No judgements. Not even of yourself.. when you catch yourself slipping up.. and making a judgement about someone or something. Things are what they are, no more, no less.
When your students want to learn this as well... you can only show them the path and explain it.. but they have to find it within themselves, truly put themselves in each situation and remain at peace with it. Not like it, not love it, not fear it or dislike it... just be there and accept it. From that peace they can make decisions about what to with the situation.
It is hard for a person identified with thier mind, their ego, their job, their car, their bank account, the clothes they wear that 'they' are actually none of these 'things'. (Yes, this means belts and Hakamas too
) They are just themselves. If we take our 'stuff' away from ourselves we are still 'us'. In fact, in most cases I find people are actually owned by the stuff they think they possess. (You own a house but you pay taxes on it.., You own a company but you are responsible to your employees and all your customers. You own a car but you have fuel and maintanence expenses. You have money in the bank but every one else seems to want some of it.. taxes, fees, and we continue to all work so hard to hold onto our stuff... and find a space to breath and for some people it ends up killing them). I am not advocating we all go hari krishna and live under the trees... just that little by little we recognize what is important and what is not.
When a person dies... generally some perspective comes into play for most people.. not everyone (the
monkey sphere comes into play, almost unfortunately). However this experience to can polarize a person because they will attach a feeling to it and not simply be at peace with it. (A person or group of people you love dies you feel loss and sadness. Person or group of people you dislike dies and you may feel good that they are gone. Does either of these feelings you have really help anyone.. you or someone else, truly? 'IF' you could be at peace with it regardless.. then there would at least be no negative effect from it (revenge for one).)
Anyway.. starting to 'go all over the place' with this...
Back on point: Just 'be' the best example you can be for those around you. Be they students at the dojo where you train, co-workers at the office, family and friends an even more importantly... complete strangers. Because we tend to let our mind play tricks and imagine threats and create enemies of people we do not even know and even some we do know... If a students insists on dwelling about a possible future event of violence from someone they do not know.. well, they are better off at least start considering those they do know as that is far more likely to happen. Statiscally speaking. That or the 'random act of violence' they are likely to have to contend with will be a motor vehicle/plane/train accident.
