Re: correct ukemi?
There is no one right way but there are a few common mistakes.
Should not require arm strength per se as body weight should not be on the arm - rather it requires the ability to maintain unbendable arm, just extending relaxed arm as the body forms a wheel. Unfortunately, this is beyond the abilities of most newbies, or it isn't explicitly said so, so they figure they need to bear the weight of the body on the arm and then it collapses and they crash into the mat. Or the leap to avoid bearing weight and crash into the mat, doing a shoulder separation.
Yes, one of the ways to avoid this is the second option you mention: to turn further so the first thing to touch the mat is the part of the shoulder that forms the upper back (rather than the top of the shoulder by collarbone which should never ever be touching/hitting the mat). In some dojos basic kneeling forward rolls are taught this way but in most dojos I've seen this method is not encouraged. I find it a safe alternative.
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