Re: Anger on the mat
To adress the two (and a half) posts above, I guess I should clarify. I do think it's ok to get angry, to a certain extent. If we don't occasionally experience frustration in the course of practice, we're probably not challenging ourselves enough. However, it's important to deal with that feeling responsibly, not by lashing out at our training partners.
The real issue with this situation was that I felt a real, physical danger from this guy, combined with the sensei's lack of concern about that kind of danger. It's true that I don't like to deal with anger, especially when it's directed at me, but a certain amount is not a problem. If the anger is held in check by some kind of respect and willingness to listen, it's ok. When it's got more of a seek-and-destroy edge to it, my instinct is to just get away as fast as possible (unless I'm in a really self-destructive mood).
As for throwing too hard, sometimes it happens. That, I can deal with although I usually grumble a bit if I've been injured... and keep training unless it's too serious/painful.
Whew. I also just had a conversation with one of my sempai about my change in attitude towards our sensei, and he basically said that, with our sensei, it's better not to expect too much, that way you can appreciate what he does do and not get upset at what he doesn't do (in terms of guidance, knowing what's going on with his students, etc.). I think it will all work out OK.
Calming... deep breathing... all that stuff. Centering.