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Old 02-24-2005, 06:07 AM   #113
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Anonymous User
Re: Falling in love with Sensei

In the case of Aikido, those of us who are running dojos not only didn't get the least training in the ethics of relating to students, especially in the area of relationships and sex, but most of our role models were horrible.
I'm a churchman first and a student of Aikido second and I find that the community life of a congregation and the community life of a dojo have much to tell each other. I'm simply amazed at the lack of sexual and financial accountability in a dojo. In my branch of Christianity, all clerics are required, and lay leaders are encouraged, to undergo training in sexual misconduct avoidance. And nobody is allowed to go near a teen ager without the training. We learn what to watch for in ourselves, how to spot a sexually abused child, how to spot a preadator and how to avoid misunderstanding. Anyone running a dojo and anyone teaching young people really should go through something like it. If they're in the US they can simply call up their local Episcopal bishop and enquire. They might charge you or they might not but it is well worth it.

When the rector of a congregation starts dating a member of that congregation three things happen: the Bishop is told, the congregation is told and the two start worshipping in separate congregations. If you are going to date your sensei then certainly the sensei should inform somebody in authority or a council of sensei peers. And certainly the dojo should be informed. Training in a separate dojo may not be necessary or practical but keeping it mind might just remind you of the possible dangers.
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