The Real World: How to Reconcile?
About six months ago, I have been assaulted once by a man who had intent to do me harm. He is a former Marine and was much bigger than me. My back was to the wall. I had only been training for two months at the time, and rather than try to defend myself, when he lunged at me, I stepped off his line of attack, entered, and managed to slip past his right shoulder, and ran... cowardly maybe, but I didn't get broken in the ordeal. Since then I replayed the situation again and again in my mind, and wondered about it.
Last night, one of my best friends was robbed at gunpoint about two miles away from my apartment. Now this incident reminded me of my own, and though very different, it has brought some ugly thoughts back up to the surface.
I don't understant how there can be people this twisted out there to do such things. I accept that they do exist and hope that this knowledge helps me avoid encounters like this in the future, but when they happen the range of emotion fealt is no small matter.
When I had my encounter, I was defenseless. When my friend had his, he was defenseless. For him, no amount of martial arts training would have helped him out, since any movement at all might risk a bullet. Even if he had been carrying a weapon or something, he was forced into a position of vulnerability before he would have been able to react. When I had my encounter, if I was well trained for many years, perhaps it would have helped me. I won't pretend that even now after several additional months of training that I am anywhere near the level of being able to defend myself yet. Maybe someday when I know more, but not yet.
How do you reconcile what goes on in the real world, vs your own world? We all live our lives, with our friends/loved ones. We go to the places we like to go to and do what we want to do. For the most part, we live pretty well. That is our world. But there is plenty of nastiness outside of our world. There are people who are not good people, and who would steal, hurt, or even kill. Very rarely do we have to confront this reality, but it is out there. That is the real world.
My question for people is not about "How do you use Aikido to defend yourself?" I have read enough threads about that to know that that isn't the point, and that isn't what I am interested in right now.
My question is, for those of you have have been confronted by harsh reality, how do you fit in in with your life philosophy? How do you accept that there are people out there whose desire is to do harm to others, while still maintaining a positive attitude towards people? What would the Budo answer be? I suppose that I am not looking for an answer per se, but I am interested in understanding what other people's experiences have been and how they have responded. What there thoughts were afterwards.
Though I am a regular reader of these forums, and semi-regular poster, I am remaining anonymous because of the personal nature of these experiences, and the desire to protect the identity of my friend who was robbed. My post is long enough, so I will leave it at that.