Richard: you have hit on exactly the problem. You suggest that if anyone has even the hint that "ego" is involved, to retreat. These people don't believe they are doing anything wrong, so this flash of insight does not occur. So even if they read this thread, they would not see themselves reflected in its details. That is the truly sad part. In private practice I treat physicians who have crossed this boundary. I assure you, some of them never come to understand it, even though it has meant the loss of their license to practice medicine.
Other posters feel strongly about not allowing yourself to be a victim. Good. Don't be a vicitm, if you can tell that you are about to become one. Where, then, does the predator's responsibility lie?