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Old 05-30-2001, 09:16 AM   #39
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 915
alright, i seem to have not sent the last part of what i wanted to say, and feel strongly enough (surprised?) about it that i will try this again. There is one more point of view that i am sure several men are thinking, but are too PC to say. In my first month of Aikido the kids class sensei asked me to 'help' him and the 1st kyu (male), as a female role model he said. Once i saw the 12-15 year old girls in the class, i knew he meant chaparone. Seductive behavior by girls does not justify pedophiles, but an attractive 15 year old chasing you around the dojo can be a real test, especially if you are a 20-something instructor. Luckily, this man was a man of honor, and i got to be 'mom'. If you are an adult, and an attractive adult is coming on to you, how much more difficult that would be to say 'no', and why should he?
I have seen a fair number of beginner females get all starry eye'd over instructors/senseis, find reasons to hang around the dojo (dressed to kill, not in a sweaty gi), offer to help the dojo then withdraw the offer if 'he' wasn't going to be there, etc. sometimes when folks come to watch a class, it is not the Aikido that catches their interest. And there is the strength and power as an aphrodisiac thing. those women usually don't last long, just long enough to geive the rest of us a bad reputation.
i think senseis give up a lot in order to share their knowledge with us, and if they find someone they like while at the dojo, then it is none of my business. would i rather he cut classes in half so he has more time to hit the bars/bookstores/wherever YOU think it's OK for him to find someone?