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Old 05-30-2001, 12:11 AM   #38
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 915
ah, but what if the shop owner had the only food for sale in town? or the business was the only one that sold clothing that you liked? You can imagine power-over anytime you want to use victimhood as an excuse, but it doesn't fly when you are talking about a dojo. wake up, a dojo. i really like Aikido. I cried when i had to leave my first dojo. But it was not the end of the world. and i still haven't heard anything the man did that makes him a predator. for God's sake, the man dated three students in 3 or 4 years, if i recall the post, so either he kept them for over a year (not bad by today's male standards) or he also looked elsewhere. I believe Saotome Sensei's wife is also an Aikidoka, i know Imaizumi Sensei's wife is, i don't know where they were in their training when they met, nor do i care. Chocolateuke's sensei is also in that category, it seems, as are a few other who posted here. not all started out as their loved one's teachers, some may have---but this is the real world, and things change. If you suddenly become a sensei, via a move or a death or whatever, does you wife/huband/significant other have to stop? oh, it's ok if you have the relationship already, you can be drawn to a person you train with, just not if you are the sensei? Do you guys really give someone that kind of control of your life for 50 bucks a month that you fear his manipulating you?
i don't see anything in the original post that says he took advantage over his dates. they dated (for a year each?), the one who wrote to complain never did date him, says she was pursued and then was rebuffed when she chased back, lets just call that a learning experience for the writer and the sensei. the third of the three he dated he is living with and raising a family. sounds stable by todays standards. all the women leave by 5th kyu? heck, a lot of dojos have trouble getting the women to stay that long.
if we are equals, we are equals, no fair being victim when it suits. adults take responsibility for their actions, something i would like to think Aikidoka should also. So the sensei's actions were he dated three women from his dojo over 4 years, the last becoming what appears to be a permanent relationship. i guess he would own up to that. i haven't heard any woman say SHE was coerced into a relationship (note the original author denies any relationship and that the sensei refused to get into one with her), been touched inappropriately, or in anyway been taken advantage of. Again, child molesters are taking advantage of those who can't refuse/lack the ability. Grown, adult men and women enter into and out of relationships all the time, and should be able to do so without dojo approval.