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Old 05-28-2001, 11:28 AM   #22
Location: Ft. Lauderdale, Florida
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 819

I agree in a way that those who don't know how to say "no" need counseling, and they need to learn to take responsibility.

Maybe this was addressed, but what about the responsibility of those in a superior position (sensei, priest, teacher) who take advantage of their position? These kind of people don't go after those who they can say "no". They go after those who are weak and who make easy victims.

Also in regards to the consenting adults issue, whenever someone uses their positition of authority to their advantage the issue is not consent to sex or but the issue is power. Consent no longer becomes an issue because the person being subjugated does not believe they can refuse.

The person who has the power is the person that is wrong in this situation. Telling a person just to say "no" to sensei is not enough. It is like telling an abused wife to just leave her husband. It is like telling the date rape victim to get away from her date. Doing so just ignores all the psyhcological elements invovled. It is just as hard, psychologically, for these folks to leave as it was to leave the military. When these folks are in the middle of the situation telling them to get help is only the first step to taking care of themselves, and they usually only get help after the abusive situation has occured. But even if they are not willing to get help does not condone the behavior of the sensei (teacher, priest, boyfriend).

I think what we all have to realize in martial arts is that the environment of dojo may allow this kind of behavior to exists. Such common things such as not being allowed to question sensei. We choose to hand over a lot of power to the sensei because of his experience and training. A sensei who uses this to his advantage even if it is to get dates is wrong. He or she still is using his or her power to their advantage.

What should we do and what rules should be created? Right now, it is up to the individual person and schools. But a rule of a sensei not dating their students while they are members of that dojo is not unreasonable.


I don't think he was kidding. I am pretty sure who he is talking about in regards to the pedophile who is no longer allowed to teach children. There are a lot of folks out there like that in the martial arts industry it should (or shouldn't) surprise you. Try this site out.

Last edited by giriasis : 05-28-2001 at 11:31 AM.