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Old 05-27-2001, 07:17 PM   #21
Join Date: Jun 2000
Posts: 915
Re: Clarification

Originally posted by Erik
I just wanted to say that in regards to the pedofiles that I have semi-direct knowledge, one of them has been banned from aikido (that sounds strange doesn't it) and the other was legally prohibited from working with children. Neither has been a teacher of mine in the class sense.

Colleen, based on what I read, you are a fairly grounded individual. Many folks who walk through the doors of an Aikido dojo are people looking for answers and lack such grounding. When graced with a very charismatic and powerful individual this line starts getting very blurry, very quickly. If a sensei preys on the weak in spirit I'd think the ethics get pretty clear really quick.
folks who know me would laugh pretty hard at the grounded part. I know it is hard to leave a dojo, and the friends you've made there. But really, when the talk shifts from 'he left me and now has someone else pregnant' (yeah, life is tough on and off the mat) to 'he's touching me and won't stop'---i mean, come on, this is a time to tell folks to wake up and get out. if they can't identify an unsafe situation, friends should tell them (i know i've been told to wake up more than once by my friends). Report the pedophiles. Walk out on the gropers. But the folks who let themselves be talked into a relationship by a sensei, who may very well believe it is consensual (and it is, actually) would do the same with their doctor, teacher, minister, or cop down the street--and very well may move from one to the next, unless they get help. If they are old enough to say 'no' they need to learn how to say it; i assume any couple i see in the dojo is consensual (luckily i've not seen any adult-child combo's) and hence none of my business. including the sensei, who is entitled to a life. I don't mind if instructors hit on me (any more than neighbors, coworkers, or the guy in line at the bank)---their right to ask, mine to say 'no'. it's unfair i think to otherwise limit who dates whom, not to mention life is just too short.