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Old 05-26-2001, 03:41 PM   #16
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Anonymous User
how do you determine if they are consenting adults and clearly they will be in some cases? If you go after one sensei for this practice then what comes next? Suppose a nidan dates a 4th kyu? Isn't that an abuse of power or position in some dojos? Where do you draw the line? No dating within the dojo? No dating within the community? No instructor dating? Some of these lines would fry a significant portion of our community.

This is EXACTLY why I started this thread! Because I have noticed, aside from the problems at the dojo that I talked about, that quite a few sensei appear to practice with their wives, many people meet their partners in dojos, etc, etc,etc. Obviously some of this is ok. But where to draw the line cannot be determined without discussion.
And if you have a womanizing sensei, or a pedophile (!) sensei, and everyone is acting like, so to speak, there ISN'T an elephant crapping on the living room rug (or that the elephant has a god-given right to crap on the rug) for fear of getting ostracized or booted out of the dojo, or having to start at the bottom in a different style, or whatever, then nothing is going to happen, and you have a corrupt and corrupting situation.

Only once, as far as I know, did someone say anything to the sensei about it. And the only reason there was because I'd gone through it before and couldn't accept the thought of someone getting hurt because of the instructor's hobby. Also, I was new to the dojo and didn't have much investment in it, so if I got thrown out it didn't matter. Even with all that, it was very hard to have this discussion.
That's what I mean by the "no talking back to the sensei" rule - as a student, are you really in a position to be able to confront the sensei if their behavior is harming you or others? For example (this is similar to what I was experiencing, and I have seen this guy do this to other students): What should a female student do if the sensei, while demonstrating a technique on you or showing you something (on the mat, in class), puts their hand briefly someplace it probably doesn't belong? Uh, you don't want to slap the guy, right? What if you confront them about it and they say you're imagining things? What if they insinuate to the other (mostly male) students that you are a good-time charleena? I actually did try to talk to this guy about it, what I got back was a wall of denial. Other people I have since met have also tried to talk to him about other bad behavior (verbal abusiveness) and they also got absolutely nowhere.

Check out - an article titled "Do you belong to a martial arts cult?" humorous but pointed discussion about abuse of power in martial arts.