I read a tribute to Akira Tohei Sensei recently, in which one of his senior students, Jo Birdsong, shared a conversation he had with him a few years ago. To quote:
"A few years ago we were eating breakfast before a seminar. I had to work up my nerve to say something to him that I thought would anger him. I had been practicing Aikido for 25 years at that point and he had been practicing 47 years. Working up the nerve, I said "Sensei, I've been practicing Aikido for a long, long time and sometimes I think I just don't get it." Without missing a beat he said, "Me too."
I also sometimes try to figure out why I have developed this love (or is it obsession?) with aikido and the martial arts over the years. However, despite this self examination, I still find that every day that I know I'm going to the dojo, there's more of a zip in my step and a sense of anticipation. Maybe THAT'S why I continue, even if I'm not able to verbalize it!
Zippa dee doo dah, zippa dee yay!!!