why? why not?!
I have had much violence in my life, thus I became very proficient at hurting people when involved in physical confrontations. What I didn't realize at the time was that every "ego victory" I attained was also equally damaging to my spirit. This may sound "hokey" to some, but I imagine others will understand what I mean. I had to find a way of resolving both the physical and spiritual turmoil I placed myself into before I became another headliner in the news.
I don't know if Aikido is the answer. I've been at it five days a week for about four years now. At first I just went for the physical activity. I found it to be a great "workout" and I got to throw people around without going to jail as a bonus. I don't really know what keeps me going back. I think a lot has to do with the relationship I have formed with my sensei and other members of the dojo, that and I still enjoy throwing people around.
People that knew me in my pre-aiki days tell me that they now see (and enjoy) a real difference in my attitude and the way I approach problems. I don't know though, I still feel the daemon inside wanting to jump out at times. Perhaps it's hard to notice change in problem areas when you ARE the problem area. I guess I keep at it because it feels right to me.......