Hiroaki Izumi wrote:
Getting back to the dojo, if an attacking uke or nage hurts you and you ask them to stop the specific behaviour, but they continue to do it even after you ask them to stop, then there is a problem that must be resolved. If they stop, there is no problem.
How about when they use the "I don't understand how what I'm doing is hurting you" excuse repeatedly? (Seniors, not beginners).
Pauliina Lievonen wrote:
Unless there are children or otherwise very vulnerable people involved, I'd trust the recipient of the thoughtlessness to be able to speak up for themselves, or not to if they choose.
Actually, if someone was, say stepping on my toes, and a well-meaning bystander started to tell them off for it, I might see _that_ as a slight insult to my capabilities, however well-meant it was. So there we have another example of a person's intention not always matching the outcome...
Unfortunately, some people in the dojo may not believe you when you say that they are hurting you. They may have no respect for you and will only listen to certain people, eg. sensei, and sometimes not even that. Perhaps in that case several people would have to speak up about it before the person will even start to think they may have to change their ways...