Re: consumed by the opponent
Not true. I was being seriously exploited by an employer once; I took them to court and won. My anger and frustration made me act. Our emotions are there for a reason. Sometimes we have to channel them, but denying them does not help with your future sanity. 'Improving oneself' is also not a fixed goal. In a Spartan society improving oneself would be considered as getting better at killing people. Some things also leave enormous deep psychological scars which usually involve repressing emotion for many years. So maybe I'd agree with Pete - confront them of forget them, but not just a 'forget them' attitude.
I believe we should look after our own personal psychological welfare. I agree in that excessive attatchment to anger or hatred can have negative effects. I think a better method of looking at our (as an individual) relationship with others is 'don't be partial to yourself'. This is different from the christian 'do as you would be done by' (which assumes ideological similarity) or from the conventional buddhist 'cease attatchments' which can lead to inaction and supression of natural human behaviour (although I don't believe that is the intention).
Not being partial to yourself is an expression from zen (bankei?) and I think it implies an understanding that we as individuals are fundamentally inseperable from the rest of reality (thus Ueshiba's quote "I am the universe", and also expressed through the non-attatchment to life and death and through not seeing agressors as 'enemies').
Last edited by ian : 11-24-2004 at 08:26 AM.