George, what an excellent post. Thanks.
Some of my best training experiences have been with women, a few of whom could've kicked my butt. In fact, one of my early lessons in kickboxing was just that...(stupid roundhouse kicks, women's hips tend to open really nicely for that kick!)
I had a really great training session about a month ago with one of the mid-kyu ranked women in the dojo. It started out very much as George described (me trying to encourage and teach, her just being frustrated). Somehow our instructor got her to see the point of the technique, and then we got in some of the best training she and I have ever had. I still am not sure what he said that was different...or if it was *him* saying it (that doesn't bother me a bit...I should have kept my mouth shut to begin with). But the interaction was ready to go to a much higher level once he was able to communicate a few simple things. As a result, I had a practice that I'll probably always remember...