Jason Hackler wrote:
so it might help to read about Osensei, or whatever it is that keeps you excited and interested about aikido.
this sounds silly... but i've decided to keep training regardless of how i feel. just train.
reading about O'Sensei writing about how aikido is love and how the purpose of aikido is to find balance and harmony with nature really helps a lot. in our dojo we don't have time, really, to delve into the spiritual aspect of the art. i think that's what was missing from me.
i was going through the motions without realisation of why i there. it had a lot to do with my feeling disconnected with the art. i was questioning myself... why am i there? why do i bother?
some of the answers i found a short while ago. i'm there to find harmony even if it's not exactly offered in the dojo i go to. by continuing with aikido and continuing down that path... i'll find what's missing. i hope.
again, thank you all so very much.