dear dave & everyone of the Way,
it takes a lot of courage to bear your soul like that (or a lot of beer
. i think we all have our inner demons, some horrific like your own, some less so, but all to be taken seriously. the beauty is that that demon can be destroyed and O Sensei gave us the means of doing so. i've got my own internal battle and though i get weary at times, i will persevere. i firmly believe that enough light can negate and destroy that darkness, and that is the test of life. i find O Sensei's definition of true victory to be very inspiring. just remember that you are not alone dave, we are all in this together.
friend and fellow in Aikido,
The spirit/mind of the person of the Way (do-jin)
Penetrates through to reveal
The evil devil that lurks inside the self"
"Masakatsu Agatsu: True victory is victory over Oneself"
- O Sensei