Re: Leaving the Dojo
That does pose a problem, doesn't it.
I don't care so much about the 2nd to Shodan thing since that is within the purview of the instructor.
I also think these two questions should probably have occurred in the opposite order.
A. Since student has decided to leave, should he return the unofficial certificate?
I'd say keep the certificate because he was awarded it, but wherever he's going explain the situation and do the test again. If he's already qualified then doing the test again shouldn't be a problem.
B. If you were the student and the sensei says, don't leave I'll make it official now, what would you say?
The choice to stay really shouldn't depend on the state of the certificate since the original issue was on his value to the instructor not being recognized. That issue is the one that needs to be addressed and discussed between instructor and student. This is what should determine the leaving or not leaving (and then to question A)
Of course being awarded and "official" black belt is on way of being recognized, but unless all the other little recognition signs are also there I feel that the "official" belt really wouldn't be anything other than a bribe at this point.
It occurs to me that these are just my thoughts as a bystander. It's easy for me to look in from the outside and say "try this" or "here's an idea for ya". We have to remember that we cannot truly understand the relationship these people have and whether they are truly looking for resolution or separation. In the end we can only give advice and offer "thought-bytes". The student must be the one to take all of their idea and possibly some of ours and come up with the best solution for them.
I wish them luck and wisdom in this ordeal.