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Old 08-24-2004, 06:47 PM   #7
maikerus
Dojo: Roppongi Yoshinkan Aikido / Roppongi, Tokyo, Japan
Location: Tokyo
Join Date: Jul 2004
Posts: 571
Japan
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Re: Leaving the Dojo

It's difficult to sit down and discuss issues like these with your instructor or with anyone else. Feelings, especially strong feelings about something you care about are so very personal that even the thought of discussing the relevant points as they affect you makes you feel vulnerable. It is far easier to say nothing and to let the problems and the anger/frustration accumulate over time until there is no other choice but to explode or do something drastic like quit.

I find that most of the problems I face in life as they relate to "politics" or "general unhappiness" or "frustration" could probably have been resolved far earlier if people would just communicate their feelings and trust that two adults can have a serious discussion about a serious and personal matter without intending to verbally harm the other person.

Unfortunately we all have a tendency to let this stuff build and then we explode. If we end up talking it is often talking in anger or talking against something someone else cares about and then we get anger thrown back against us. This isn't very aiki, but it is often the case. Devon's example above is very unfortunate, and sadly, probably the way most of these things go.

1. Is leaving his old sensei justifiable?

Its probably gone too far not to leave. But really that is a decision that should be made after talking to the instructor.

2. Should he approach his old sensei and tell him the truth or leave and tell lies about the real reason for his leaving?

Truth.

3. Can he do his resignation in writing or better personal?

This is personal. A written letter would just distance the problem and there would be no "closure" for either of them.


--Michael

Hiriki no yosei 3 - The kihon that makes your head ache instead of your legs
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