Re: Strange feeling
I have felt the same as you, so you arent alone. Ive compared myself to others, wondered if I was going backwards in my development, hoped that I could learn something new etc etc.
I found that when I just went in to train, and I quit caring who was better, and IU stopped concentrating on getting better, that it just happened.
I think with Aikido it would be the same. Just go, have fun, and enjoy it and "let" it happen.
I suggest taking a break too. It may be what you need. If you are happy away from Aikido, then so be it. If you find yourself yearning to go or like you are missing something, then go back and know that it's meant for you. No reason to force yourself to do something you dont enjoy.