Paula Lydon wrote:
Hmmmmm...What do you do?
Practice TONS of weapons helps. Keep training as hard, as strong as possible. Make all technique works efficiently without asking any special conditions of attack. Kick ass all those spiritually challenged aiki fruities, yes!, kick them as hard as you can.
Don't listen anybody but your sensei.
Attack him with all your power.
After the while you will have a choice, throw/pin them very, very strong way or only tight, just at their limits. In both cases you will control them anyway.
So be generous, respect their limits. That's how you resolve your paradox