Re: Lack of spirituality
hrmmm how can I put this in a way that it will make sence to me?
Aikido is about personal growth; spiritually, mentally, and physically. Every aspect of Aikido helps with one or all of these aspects of personal growth. If you have a focused mind, with a strong posture, you will do well, if you can do well you gain confidence. When you have confidence you gain understanding. Understanding on a personal level of what Aikido is. We don't need symbols, or lectures to hear someone elses opinion on KI, love, war, or God, we need to practice and make up our own opinions. It is ok to want to learn and listen to your sensei, but don't lean on him for your own personal growth. He will guied you, but only you can make yourself great in aikido, your desire, your focus, your willingness to break out of your shell, to extend your roots. Your deeper level of understanding can come from a seemnsly "physical" training. SUre there are exercises to help a spiritual aspect, and these are great!
as for step here, bend here, use force, he may be saying use force because you are using nothing. Aikido isn't a nothingness, you use your force (without using muscle mind you!) move from your center!
And who knows, maybe your senei does do spiritual stuff and he hasn't shown it yet.