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Old 05-10-2004, 10:13 AM   #70
AsimHanif
Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 478
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Re: Poll: Should an aikido instructor date a student of theirs?

In response to Craigs reply,
there's a big difference between being a celibate monk and being an instructor who doesn't misuse his authority. The maturity I speak of relates to the ethics of being a teacher. Of course being an instructor doesn't mean you know it all but I believe an instructor has an ethical duty to not go there.
As for saying it's not the same as an academic situation, I agree. It may be more damaging because the student is seeking a growth in far more delicate areas than a grade. The repercussions can be potentially more damaging.
This doesn't mean that a student and teacher can't connect on a romatic level in the dojo. I just feel that if they are intent on pursuing the relationship it would be responsible for the student (or instructor) to continue practice at another dojo. Matters of the heart are about responsibility not convenience.
I agree with John about the potential for sexual harassment issues to arise.
On a practical note, it seems that as aikidoists were train to mitigate potential hazards down the road - why not this???
Ledyard Sensei, I usually agree with you on many issues but not on this one. I have seen it too many times. I'm sure some of us have also seen the "disciple" syndrom, wear some student takes every word from their instructor as gospel. All of this is very damaging behavior. Who is really in control? Aikido is about balance and for an instructor to not have the heart to go outside of his own dojo to seek romance is weak.
I am getting the feeling that some instructors are trying to justify their insecurities and that the only way they can troll for dates is to use the dojo environment. It's easy to be on the mat but once they get off they are at a loss.
Next person, can have the soap box now.
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