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Old 05-09-2004, 01:35 AM   #62
Kenny's Avatar
Dojo: City Aikido
Location: San Francisco
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 9
Re: Poll: Should an aikido instructor date a student of theirs?

Erik wrote:
Well, how many students will walk up to a teacher, let's say a particularly senior teacher (I have a couple in mind but I'll leave it at that), and have this sort of discussion? In the first place it's likely to require a senior student, one who has invested much in the dojo, and that alone provides both a disincentive and if it's a regular behavior a long borne acceptance. In other words, with the exception of a few rare folks it doesn't happen.
This is one of the least talked about dynamics in the dojo (or any master apprentice relationship).
The student's responsibility to be honest with their teacher. Which is exactly why I think the most valuable thing we as students can do is be/speak honestly to our teachers about those difficult things. People all over the place are dying to tell them how great their Nikyu is and how good that class was and what great thing they learned last week thanks to the lesson. That's not how they became what they are so why is it all they need now? Gratitude, respect hell yeah give it to them in spades.
I heard someone say the other day "when you keep something difficult from your spouse you rob them of the privilege of living up to their vows."
This really encapsulates how I feel about, "I didn't say anything because I wasn't sure how you'd take it".
When I step out there to the front of the class I'm asking everyone in the dojo for their most sincere attack. Hell who cares if you can kick my ass it's been done before and I don't think I really learned alot from it. But if you can help me cut through the fog surrounding my truth then all of us will move on the path to becoming true human beings.
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