Lesson Number Two.
Monday, April 26, 04
On Sunday morning, I did something to my right hip that felt like a really bad muscle spasm. By late Sunday the pain was just a minor twinge and some stiffness, and today I didn't really notice anything.
So we get on the mat, we bow in, we start by doing rolls around on the mat to get comfy in our space again, I do my first ever roll as part of the group -- and nearly scream in agony as my hip decides that now would be a good time for a repeat performance of... what*ever* happened yesterday.
Matt-sensei insists that I didn't scream. The irony is that right up till that moment, I felt like I had done the best roll so far in my two whole lessons...
but as soon as I had pressure on my low back and hip, the pain started, and by the time I came up on my knees that was as far as I could go because my hip was SCREAMING at me. Soke hadn't seen this, and when he noticed my kneeling motionless on the mat, must have thought I was simply new and confused, because he said, "just do a somersault."
I yelped, "Can't."
"Are you all right?"
Another yelp, "No." Tears are rolling down my face at this point and I go from hardly being able to breathe, to panting in pain. I'm a foot from the wall and I can't crawl over to it to help myself stand up, so I kind of crabwalk on my hands, one knee, and one foot (I was kneeling in a little ball).
"Did you sprain your ankle?"
Third and final yelp, "Hip." You've noticed by now that I'm only responding in monosyllables.
So I spend the first half of the class walking, stretching, yelping quietly, repeat until I feel like I can move that leg and put weight on it...
Physical: agony, fading to mere pain, fading by the end of the night to "I can walk but dear god don't ask me to do anything like a real ukemi." Along with "Yes, yes I *will* be making an appointment with the chiropractor tomorrow."
Mental/emotional: agony, fading to shame and frustration, fading to embarrassment plus self-comfort (huh - yay me), followed by "I should go home, I can't do anything injured", followed by determination NOT to leave and the realization that I'm learning by watching... followed by no small amount of pride when I realize that I'm not only understanding the moves, I'm getting the principles, seeing possible variants before sensei points them out, and able to help the only other white-belt in class that night. And I got to do about three of the different moves and more or less grasp them. Yay me!
I'm very glad, and proud of myself, that I didn't drag my sore self home before class ended. I learned things.
Here endeth the description.