Re: Article: This is MY Mat! by "The Mirror"
I've thought quite a bit about what my sensei said to me. I think he meant I was still "caught". Although I could breathe and relax and maintain my center enough so I didn't cry during interactions with this man, afterward I was obsessing and complaining about him. I still saw myself as a victim and him as the big bad guy-- I gave him far too much of my energy.
What changed with the second interaction was I did what I did and it was over. Of course this situation is much different because I have no history with this person and don't interact with him daily. Still, it represents a major change in my thinking. Probably a few years earlier I would have found out this person's name and his dojo--I would have seen him as a bully and myself as a victim. And I probably would have created drama--either in my mind or in reality. However, I don't know his name and I wouldn't recognize him if I saw him again--I can't remember much about him except he gave me the opportunity to practice, and I learned something about myself and what all those hours of aikido practice put into my body.