I've heard it said that aikido teaches you who you really are, on and off the mat. I'm seeing that it doesn't tell me anything I didn't already know --
There are a select few people who "know who they really are" and to go off looking for what you already know is only confusing. I did that some years ago, but found in the end I "knew" me after all. However, one thing aikido WILL do is refine and strengthen the You that you know and you'll end up better, stronger, more confident and sure of yourself in the end. Then those voices
in your head will become more encouraging... as opposed to my voices which are numerous and annoying as all hell.
"You talking about me?"
"Sheeesh! I'm busy. Talk to ya later!"
Anyways... Good luck with your training! Don't worry too much about the scary stuff, just keep working at it and the skill and confidence will come in time.