One last thing I forgot to mention
Judo is only "ugly" when equally skilled opponents match up and the will to win overcomes the will to learn. Sadly, we all do it now and again.
Try randori with a non psychotic black belt. You will be stunned at how beautiful judo really is.
I hope you go back for the newaza. Once you get callosuses on your fingertips and knuckles, you can consider yourself a True Judoka (tm)