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James Giles wrote:
I was practicing the 8th kumitachi with my Sensei, and I cracked him on the top of the head with a Shomen strike by accident. Looking back, I don't even know how it all came about. I tried to pull back at the last instant, but I heard a loud *WHONK* and a very hurt look on his face.
I know this may sound crazy, but I felt so badly about it, that I went home and took my bokken and cracked myself on the head just to experience what he must have felt.
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It happens. I think most folk have the same reaction as you, they'd rather get hit than hit. But the trade off is choreography (instead of honest attacks.) I rather take a hit once in a while than just go through the motions. I'll bet your teacher feels the same.
Chin up.