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Old 10-12-2003, 07:25 AM   #27
Join Date: Jul 2002
Posts: 53

I know that there is no real value in having any particular rank - and yet I allow myself to be disappointed nonetheless. What is really bothering me isn't my situation but my internal response to that situation. That and the way my own ambition has put me here in the first place. If it weren't for my ambition, however humble it may be to want to achieve 5th kyu, I wouldn't have approached the testing master in the first place and there wouldn't be a testing date that I cannot make.

There is value in deserving a particular rank and great value in progressing to that point. I'm continuing to study and prepare myself as if I were to be testing. And I'm going to have to do some more work on renouncing my own desires and expectations.
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