I think the path to integrate a practice into one's life is... well, a path, not and end.
I try to bring tea into my life, but knowing so little of that, it is difficult and I'm not even sure if I'm really following the way or bringing it into my life.
I try to bring aikido into my life, but I don't think I'm ever really doing aikido--I'm not acting in harmony with ki.
I try to bring the Buddha Dharma into my life, but I still have so much to learn in that way, too.
I think that as one's understanding changes, the way the practice influences his or her life changes, too.
Whether, when I become more learned, I will disagree or agree with what you say remains yet to be seen, but what you say reminds me of how much I have yet to learn.
It does make sense, though. If I finally did everything right, "the utensils harmoniously matched, the temperature of the hot water adjusted, the proper amount of tea measured, the tea whisk measured and so forth--" would I be able to just be one with this incident, or would I grasp onto it and the state of my heart and mind change out of sync with it? Is that what you mean when you say, "Realizing the accident without comment is difficult. Being one with the accident is rare?"