Yes, that's what I'll do eventually if I can't find a solution. But it's sort of humiliating to admit I can't find a way to solve our incompatibility. She does train with other people btw (even if she is of the 'no! Don't throw me, I don't feel safe with falls' variety). It seems it's just my being the big guy that scares her.
I'm not even that enormous btw (187 cm, 98 kg) but I happen to be the the biggest in the dojo at the moment.
I really would like a way to solve the problem, rather then just avoid it.
Of course there may be just no solution.
Thank you, anyway.