My kuzushi has a very "Chinese" feel to it I've been told. Instead of redirecting force away from the combined structures of uke & tori, I tend to reflect uke's force back into them but vectored so that it is not "usable" by the uke for anything against me. There is very little to "no" force that can be felt coming from the tori when done properly. The force tends to cause their structure to lock up through the connection into the spine, pelvis, knees, etc. If I feel the need to get more distance from uke, the force is directed through the uke so that their body "throws" itself away from me. Both types should be understood. Lock up the structure to limit movement and also project the uke away from you. At any rate neither one take a great deal of momentum before you connect in order to take control and keep it.
I definitely think if the uke can disengage or gain their center back so they have decision making control over their next movement then there is a problem. Holes (or slack) in your technique or "suki" as they are known in Japan...
As was said above, hard to describe in words.