You seem to question and criticize a lot of different aikido dojo. How long have you been training? How many dojo have you trained at to arrive at your conclusions?
As for the question at hand, I believe that unless you can do the technique slow and soft, you're not going to be able to do it fast and hard. I've seen too many people use speed and strength to try to make up for their lack of ability and, consequently, leave themselves much more open for kaeshiwaza.