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Old 06-05-2003, 09:40 PM   #31
Jeff Tibbetts
Dojo: Cedar River Aikikai
Location: Cedar Rapids, Iowa
Join Date: Oct 2002
Posts: 142
United_States
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Hi Ron, yeah I think you're right on this one. We are really desiring the same thing, but I guess I'm just looking for a softer way to get there. I can really see the appeal in a more "direct" approach, you may not have time to get everything just the way you want it, so better to go for control at the very outset and never let it up. I think that many of my questions are answerable only by myself, and I need to see that there's no reason to worry so much about all that. It's no problem to wonder about these things, but I have to keep it to a manageable level. I don't have anywhere near the control or sonfidence to feel that I can affect the outcome of a real confrontation, so for now I need to give myself the tools to get to that level. We talked a bit more about choice in tonight's class, and I think what I'm trying to do with this thread is just get people to wonder about some of these choices that we have. There are many times during techniques where it would be more efficient, more damaging, and maybe more controlling to do certain things, but I'd rather protect uke from those things by choosing a safer way. I feel that my responsibility is to protect both of us, and I know that I can't do that, but that's the goal. I made that choice a long time ago, when someone broke into my house in a drunken stupor and fell asleep on my couch with his pants down when I wasn't home. My wife was home, though, sleeping upstairs. I was well within my rights to do all sorts of nasty things to him, and I think many other people may have done that. I think that the way it looked, it would appear that my wife had been unfaithful, and I know lots of guys who would have lost it at that point. I guess he's lucky that it was me, and I'm lucky he wasn't a serial rapist. The point is, I made a choice before I even started Aikido that I didn't ever want to be responsible for killing or injuring another person, even if everyone else, and the law, justified it. I don't know if that qualifies me as a hippie, I sure don't feel like one. Just as Darren says, it takes a lot more strength to not react with more violence, especially if everyone else tells you that it's right and justified. Idealist? Absolutely. I know that I don't have the skill to back up what I'm saying, maybe I never will, but it keeps me going back to the Dojo. What keeps you going there? I would like to hear from some others...

If the Nightingale doesn't sing-
wait
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